Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
