They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
