If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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