just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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