sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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