$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
