Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
