Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
