I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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