Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
