Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
