3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
