Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
