I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize