3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
