Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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