OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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