he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wear drunk well.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
