I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
