This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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