This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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