You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
