Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
