sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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