I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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