Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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