I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
