I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
