She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
