I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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