Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
