I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
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