I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize