i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
