The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
