he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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