Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
