Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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