**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
