Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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