If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
