Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
