Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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