she woke up with a sticky ear
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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