your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
