Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
