tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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