when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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