They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
