Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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