OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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