fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
