Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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