Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
