Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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