The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
