there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
