I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
