would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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