He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
