This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
