why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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