Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
