Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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