thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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