Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
