how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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