Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
