good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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