As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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